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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23806984">The Prurient Pensieve</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/primeideal/pseuds/primeideal'>primeideal</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen, In-Universe RPF, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-03 01:02:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>402</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23806984</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/primeideal/pseuds/primeideal</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>He had beautiful blue eyes that you could get jinxed in, and he smelled like Quidditch kits, flobberworms, and something that uniquely showed up in Amortentia.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>What Fen Do (Instead of Going Outside)</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Prurient Pensieve</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/is_this_thing_anon/gifts">is_this_thing_anon</a>.</li>



    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Prurient Pensieve:<br/>memories of magical misadventures that never were</p>
<p>
  <em>By continuing to read this parchment, you affirm that you are at least seventeen and of age as a wizard.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Authors do not own the rights to any of the narratives depicted herein. Taking control of another being's free will to illicitly seduce them or compel them to behave in dastardly ways presumes the use of the Imperius Curse, which is banned by all reputable magical bodies. For more information on Fair Use in wizarding law, see A. Bones "The Copyright Fairies."</em>
</p>
<p>The Quest for the Deathly Hallows<br/>Chapter 11/??</p>
<p>"Remember," said Gellert, "we need to find the Elder Wand too." He had beautiful blue eyes that you could get jinxed in, and he smelled like Quidditch kits, flobberworms, and something that uniquely showed up in Amortentia. "Unlike the Resurrection Stone or the Invisibility Cloak, it probably didn't stay in the Peverell family."</p>
<p>"The Peverell family is extinct in the male line," Albus pointed out. He had sort of reddish hair. "So we won't be able to look for them by surname."</p>
<p>"They'd probably have married into the Sacred Twenty-Eight," said Gellert, "so we should start by looking there."</p>
<p>"No, Gellert, no!" said Albus. "The wizards we're looking for are visionaries, either spiritually gifted enough to meet Death as a person and/or skillful enough to create powerful artifacts! They would not be swayed by delusions of pureblood supremacy, and neither should you."</p>
<p>"Hmm," said Gellert, "I don't know about that."</p>
<p>"Well," said Albus, "put that out of your mind for now, and have sex with me instead."</p>
<p>"All right," said Gellert, because even though he was the most handsome and powerful young wizard in all of Europe, he still thought Albus was kind of cute in his own dorky way.</p>
<p>To be continued...</p>
<hr/>
<p>Readers' owls from last chapter:</p>
<p>Dumbledore is a great wizard, he was probably much more handsome and charming even as a young man. This guy is too awkward.</p>
<p>Dumbledore/Grindelwald is an unhealthy relationship dynamic, next you know people will be publishing Barty Crouch/Voldemort. Everyone knows the healthy partnership is Dumbledore/Flamel.</p>
<p>The description of Dumbledore's "London Underground" scar is a little Mary Sueish. And is that the original 1863 map or the current one, which would be anachronistic? Or sometime in between?</p>
<p>When are they going to drink dragon's blood? I've been waiting since Chapter 3.</p>
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